Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
