She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
