The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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