I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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