I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
