My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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