My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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