Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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