that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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