Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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