i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
