strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
