If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
please don't ironically join a cult
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