i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
