He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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