Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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