White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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