I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
