They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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