If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
