I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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