he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
