Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
