Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize