Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
