doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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