oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
