I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
