its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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