You smell like stripper and shame
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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