If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
