Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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