The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
