theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
