Your face is a jimmy john
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
