you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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