hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
