he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
