help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The air taste purple.
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