just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
COCAINE IS GR8
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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