She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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