is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize