She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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