better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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