I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
