i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
