Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
