HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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