There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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