I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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