PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
