u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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