We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
