It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
