Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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