College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
