i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
