I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
