she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
