The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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