the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
