The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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