The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
