Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
