K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
