I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nicole vs. Life
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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