i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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