he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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