Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
