out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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