My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
